New Orleans part Dos

New Orleans part dos

"Your far away from those your love." I just bit my tongue. She wasn't really from New Orleans, she had no Southern accent, nor was she black with a hint of old world wisdom -- that's how I envisioned my voodoo psychic. She was white (boo) and English (double boo), yet she hit my present right on the head.

"Not only are you away from those you love, but you have recently had your heart broken." Yikes, my palms were starting to get clammy, I wonder if she would need to read my palm, and on top of that I wonder if my hand sweating would interfere with the spirits....perhaps they have a thing against body odor (but if that's true then why do homeless people always claim to know the future -- oh well)

"You're about to enter into a time of extreme loneliness. You will be attempting to reach a goal and will be socially isolated, you will move a lot, and try to figure out who you are." I was about to cry. Why would anyone pay twenty dollars to hear this.

"Ahh but the Lovers, don't worry young one it ends well. With in once year you will meet someone who you will be with for a long time. " A slow crackle came from the back of her throat. "Also I have one more thing to tell you, stay away from controlling people. I see that you had a very strong influence in your life, of a man who wanted to own you, stay away from anyone who attempts to control, own, or dominate you." My mouth is open and I was speechless, how could she know this? "Oh why are you around so many babies that are not yours.....Oh its is only a preview. You will have children. Just wait."

How could this happen? I wanted my fortune to be that I would win the lottery and move to France where I would have one love affair after the next with men who's abs could be used to grade cheese on. That fortune was meant for some heavy girl who dreams of Prince Charming not.....jewelery gives me a rash. Don't get me wrong I love my babies but my favorite part of my job is my ability to leave.

Perhaps the fortune teller was wrong. Perhaps she was full of shit, but how in the world could she have known all the details of my life? Controlling people, babies, alone..... ekkk. Her ability to know specific knowledge about my present and past made me think that perhaps she knew more about my future than I did.

As I left the voodoo hut I thought how funny....I was reintroduced to my past, detailed my present and pissed on the future.

NNP is the way for me

NNP

I feel like I am betraying my profession by saying this yet I must speak (or type) whats on my mind. I have to get out of nursing. I must. I have to leave the bed side and move beyond. I gotta go to NNP school. I look at other NNP's and MD's planning out care I get insanely jealous. I just wanna interrupt and talk about the latest study concerning canadian fungal sepsis or trisomy 21 developmental concerns - but alas I am just the RN so I go back to suctioning endotracheal tubes, drawing labs and administering blood.

I don't mean to down play nurses - I truly believe that nurses are the backbone of the heath care system. When orders are wrong it's nurses who catch it, when some one needs a shoulder to cry on often my scrubs become tissue for the emotionally disturbed and when people cant understand the doctors medical slang often I am used as an interpreter.

So whats my gruff? I just wanna know more. I wanna do more. In short I want more responsibility. I want no I NEED to go to graduate school. hmmm me a NNP. I like the idea of me going to the deliveries, interpreting the blood gasses, changing vent setting, determining viability and calling codes. But I guess I have to wait....wait for the date that I can turn in my application to NNP school. I was thinking of putting smiley faces all over my curriculum vitae ya know to help my chances :O)

GURRRRR wanna go back to school
GURRRRR wanna change my name badge from RN to NNP department of neonatology

oh well guess I should enjoy my place in life now....24 is really too young to be the most senior person in the NICU no matter how many dopamine drips I've started.

New Orleans part une

Saturday morning started as any uneventful Saturday would...I woke up, scratched my self, and went for breakfast at my favorite veggie hot spot. Usually I make phone calls on my way to breakfast catching up with my friends and finding out how their week went....however when I called my friend Mike in Atlanta he was in the car giggling like a school girl. Puzzled by his sudden new found exuberance for life I questioned him on the reason for his upbeat mood. Michael informed me of his road trip to New Orleans for Southern Decadence along with his cohort Michael (aka Joline). The thought of mulling around Baltimore is less than exciting I must admit so I jokingly said I would come too. Funny how once you speak something it can quickly become your reality. Next thing I knew I was booking a ticket over Labor Day weekend to experience this event they call Decadence of the South.

Perhaps it's being a product of a broken home, but I never really get excited over weekend plans until I see my dad's truck parked in the drive way. All along the trip to New Orleans I was calm, quietly thinking about all the possible reasons for this trip not to come to pass. Once I landed in New Orleans the calm and pesamistic possiabilities lifted off my shoulders as I felt like a frat boy who is about to open a keg as the anticipation of the weekend danced around my imagination.

Another bi-product of growing up in my family is I don't really miss people --- a good thing for a traveling nurse. Yet truth be told when I knocked on the door and Joline was standing there with a huge grin and open arms I felt that I realized how much I missed my boy's from Atlanta. We quickly poured cocktails and gave eath other brief summaries of the highlights of our past few months and bonds were once more forged -- but this time I think a little tighter because we all came back together. Soon after final hair, shoe, and belt adjustments were made we hit Bourbon Street. Like a pack of wolfs we were out seeking the pray of cute guys -- possibly future ex-husbands. Dancing and vodka led to witty conversation (I thought it was witty but I was drunk so what do I know). The night ended with us all loosing each other in the crowd.

Then next morning we divulged out individual explorations to each other as we planned our upcoming day. Michale being Michael wanted to see Katrina, I wanted to try a beignet and go to a voodoo psychic, and Joline was wondering what outfit to wear. I had my beignet (which is fried dough with powerded sugar big fuckin deal), Joline settled on cargo shorts, and Michael bravely led our team towards the aftermath of Katrina.







I don't know if I can describe the smell of the neighbors that we explored but I assure you it was awful. The houses looked as though they had done battle with mother nature and lost. Every house had a X on it with a date the number of bodies found in the house was spray painted next to the date. In front of some houses sat FEMA trailers on concrete blocks with children playing in the streets in front of there new government supplied home. Theses families whom had returned to New Orleans to their homes symbolized the strengeth of the human spirit. That although the world can crash down it will be waited out -- they will wait for the thrashing to end, quietly pick up the remains of their former life and tie two pieces of rope to a tree along with some scrap wood to make a swing for their children.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE

After we saw Katrina's and FEMA's aftermath Joline and Michael went to lay by the pool while I opted to visit
an Voodoo psychic. On my way to my appointment to visit the psychic a guy came over to me....

"Your Chris right?"
"um yea," shit who is this guy I hate it when I can't
remember someone
"From Atlanta, the nurse, right"
"Ummm yea," this was getting weird.
"The Chris from Atlanta who broke Michael's heart in
Charleston."

My heart stopped. How could this happen, it has been almost two years since we broke up yet still in this haunted city I was being haunted by the ghosts of my past. I tried to think of a funny come back I knew what ever I said would make it back to Charleston twisted. I was about to speak but then I looked into this strangers eye and I saw a look of judgment. How
could I explain to him the in's and out's of a relationship that took me almost a year to sort out in my head. So in times like this just spoke my mind.

"There are two sides to every story, Michael is an amazing person and I wish him the best." I held my breath and hoped that Michael would not pop out of the streets, I hoped that I would not be belittled or bitched out....

"Yea, you guys were good together too bad you just wanted different things in life." "Okkay this is officially awkward so you have to
excuse me...I have to go cry."
I quickly turned around and felt the warm sun on my face. Funny on my way to hear about my future I ran
into my past.