"Packing a Musket"

by Jerri Blank err i mean Chris Schmaltz:


When you work from your home, and Johns call on the phone, you're a call girl.
When you walk 'til you limp, and give a cut to a pimp, you're a street whore.
When they're beggin' you please to get down on your knees, near their groinage,
Excusa me, but you see, don't you touch, where they pee, without coinage.
When I straddle and squat, to show you my...

I wrote this poem during my stay in prison....who knew it was illegal to sell a baby? I didn't but I do now. I would have gotten away with it to if those assholes did not try to return the damm thing cuz its eyes did not stay blue. Apparently they did not read the fine print of the contract. Oh well....I now have a new found respect for my fellow man and have been off the crack pipe for 4 months now.....okkkay 4 weeks.....4 days???.....FINE I admit it 4 hours.......ohhh the oven buzzer went off that means that my new friends Jose and Marcus are done free base....I mean praying for children gotta go!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXSqk-b4bW8&search=meryl%20streep

People make me giggle, really they do. Especially if your name is Ann Coulter and those who fear her. Why are people so scared of her? Why do people put her in such high esteem? These things baffle me. She is a very intelligent woman but she is not a reporter, she has a very sharp mind yet I would not even really call her a political commentator -- what she has become is a polarizing agent who capitalizes on people who want someone with a fancy education to validate their own point of view. Some people would argue what in fact she is a political commentator, yet I disagree; a political commentator / pundit looks at both sides of the coin and offers a view. What Ms. Colture has done very successfully is shout her views (?I honestly don't even think they are her true values?) very loudly and FOX news listens with breath held. Another thing bugs me.....that's American Fundamentalism.....What America is a Fundamentalist state? Well in a way yes. We are capitalist fundamentalists. We want it. If we have enough money we believe we are entitled to own, buy or sell anything no matter the cost of it on others (I say this as I type from Starbucks....)Where is the heart in this country where we send soldiers to war so unequipped that we have ...errr had...charities who specialize in upgrading soldiers protective gear. Where is the heart of our Christian President who cuts programs that benefit the poor, and under served. I think its kinda ironic that we are a country fighting for democracy abroad yet in our own country we are mocked as UN-American when we question the motives of our government. Oh well.....until we all reach enlightenment all we can do is bitch I guess.....or at the very least vote.

Today I had a private yoga asana class with Ms. Elizabeth Rogers and we worked on Hanumanasana for my Jivamukti TT. I thought I would share with you the asasa sequence we worked on....Hopefully in a year we will all be doing Hanumanasana with the best of them :O)

Three Sun Sal A
Three Sun Sal B
***both of these are Ashtanga style*****

Padangughasana
Padahasatana
Utthita/Parvrtti Trikonasana
Parsvottanasana
Utthita Hasta Padajunstasana

*****with the standing poses its important to really work the femur bones working toward one another
***** please keep in mind the opposition of the back femur and the sacrum
***** Opposition of the inner heal (down to the earth, arch up) and and the inner femur pulling up (towards the pelvic floor or in yogic terms towards muladhara chakra)

Now your ready to start on splits

Hanumanasana - standing using the wall----this looks like your in down dog splits yet please keep the hips square while lifting the upper leg up. As you lift the upper leg press the lower led that your standing on into the earth while remembering the inward rotation of the femur bone.

Hanumanasana- front leg on the wall pressing the heal into the wall. Please be mindful of the inward rotation of the femur....With the back leg bent, toe knee the foot behind you, there is really no other way to describe it...ya just gotta do it. Once you feel that your at your limit do your self a favor and keep your hips square (as much as possible) while being mindful of the the slight twist that is occurring in your rib cage on the side of your back leg. Once your in position use blocks to prop yourself up and breath finding your bliss.....

This pose is a backbend, forward bend, and twist.....A lot is going on......

more links that might help you

http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/874_1.cfm

or

http://www.jivamuktiyoga.com/fms/asana_fm.html

Have faith in your breath, your ability, and yourself and the pose will open up slowly :O)

Have fun and offer your efforts back to God and the Sutras and the Gita have suggested.

Political Point of view in haiku

Tired of hearing
Boy, Bush sure sticks to guns
Kids can scream loud too.

"Upon the brink of a wild stream, he stood and dreamt a mighty dream."
-- Aleksandr Pushkin


Have you ever kept a dream quiet? Not sharing it out of fear that you will fall flat on your face. Or maybe your scared that your not a strong enough person to achieve something great so you settle, go to college and then hopefully meet someone and buy a cute condo in a trendy part of town which you two flip at a grand profit which allows you to go to the suburbs and adopts 2.5 children and then live there until you die. AH no no no no I want something more out of my life. I want to give back and not just take from this world. I want to live an experience and not just do it...in short I wanna try crack okkay there that's my confession I want to try crack and shoot it up hourly until I reach my goal weight then I will be a frail boy in rehab with a six-pack LOL....Just kidding

Okkay here are my goals for the next 5 years

1.) Be a travel nurse going to such locations as NYC, Seattle, London, Paris, and Hawaii
2.) Work for Doctors with out borders and see how the other half live (i.e. non-white, non-American)
3.) These two are the hardest to admit......To become a Jivamukti Yoga teacher
4.) Open a yoga studio
5.) Solve the Israel and Palestine conflict (give them the land back....please)

Okay I know its corny to quote someone and try to pass off their wisdom as your knowledge so I wont even try. In today's Starbucks driven, overtime working, antidepressants taking world who has time to read a whole book? So for those of you who don't have time to read or don't care to do so here is a cool list from Mr. Lama himself. BTW I know many militant queers hate him for being anti-gay yet what a great opportunity to show compassion and understanding then learn from a man who is flawed....ps he is not a vegan either....Why is he so great again? (JUST KIDDING)



Instructions for Life from the Dalai Lama

Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, respect for others and responsibility for all your actions.
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
Spend some time alone every day.
Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
Be gentle with the earth.
Once a year, go some place you've never been before.
Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Ms. Morris and Cyber Dharma

Ms. Morris and Cyber Dharma


I have never meet her. Her teachings have I stumbled across via the web. Yet her recommendations have shaped how I practice yoga. One thing that I feel very fortunate to receive is e-mails from her this one which I will share with ya'll really touched me.....more so now that I rediscovered my spiritual roots.

Sometime ago.....last year I think I wrote a letter to Ms. Morris (one of the best and most honest yoga teachers in the Jivamukti lineage) and she gave me an amazing response.....one which I know keep on my alter....I hope her words will help someone else in their journey in becoming the best version of themselves.

for more info or FREE downloads please go to

www.kellymorrisyoga.com

Hello

Please help..... I used to be a devout jivamukti yoga
practitioner -- I loved it. Twice a day could not ever
stop chanting or doing asanas. I was a veggie eater.
Read all I could about animals and ahimsia. One day it
died. I just stopped caring about yoga, ahimsa. I was
an aspiring Jivamukti teacher....I wanted to help
others wake up from illusion --- but within 24 hours the
thought of sweating to some bob dylan while I stretched
my hamstrings made my eyes roll. This brings us to the
present movement I feel that I am at a cross road I
can leave this path that I have done for six years (I
started in High school and I am now 23) or eat meat
like the rest of America and vote republican. I think
at the heart of it is I am scared to take that leap
into fully living my yoga because I feel it will
alienate me from my friends and family who are already
puzzled enough when I choose cranberry juice at
cocktail hour. Do you have any advice? Have you ever
been through this?

Thanks
Chris


Dear Chris,

Namaste! Thank you for your thoughtful and funny letter.

It sounds as though your loss of yoga has alienated you more than the loss of friends/family ever could. Anyone who has ever chosen the spiritual path does so, almost always, at the expense of society and all it holds valuable.

On the other hand, if friends aren't supportive than one could say they were never really friends to begin with. If you make your path as small as concern over cranberry juice, then the big picture will always escape you.

You are the being who will save the world. Losing all interest in
ahimsa, animals and so on suggests to me that your commitment was insecure at best; I say this gently, because it is often the case at Jiva that students are seduced by the fanfare, the dramatics, the passion and so take on beliefs and values they have not fully explored or digested and made their own.

Many students there are searching for answers and the spiritual thirst is such that even a drop of something better than what they have will suffice, for a little while. Eventually, the student casts off what starts to feel like another cultural imperative and wonders what happened.

Let's just say that 'waking up from the illusion' involves more than
simply being vegan, voting non-republican and listening to Dylan. Those injunctions reflect Jiva's highly personal agenda; aside from ahimsa, none of things you mentioned have much to do with yoga, they have to do with politics. Yoga goes much deeper and wider than their idiosyncratic, narrow understanding.

I started teaching over ten years ago. If you think the social climate now is tough for yogis, try back then. I was disinherited from my family, I marginalized at cocktail parties for years and still today, often people place me somewhere between a manicurist and an aerobics instructor.

Who cares? We have bigger fish to fry. Your life is almost over and
soon,when you are on your deathbed, struggling for your last breath, you will look back on your life and ask yourself what it stood for. You are young now, so it may not have caught up with you yet how brief your time here will be. The yogi is constantly striving to understand where their world is coming from, to help other people and to reach enlightenment quickly, for the sake of all sentient beings. Until we do that, anything we do to take care of others is flawed and remedial.

I don't know if this helps at all. I hope that it does. The fact that
you care at all is extraordinary; most people don't.

Blessings,
Kelly

May we only plant the very best seeds, may the world then bloom with
compassion and kindness, may we hold the teachings always.

Mirror

Your perfect, your amazing, your one flaw is that you care too much....ahhhh we all love flattery and admiration. Its like a drug the more we get the more we want. I wish I could make a patch or gum that gave off the same feeling that we get when we are complimented. I think it probably all comes from wanting acceptance yet that is another blog.

Has anyone ever said something that was so dead on about your personality that you were struck dumbfounded and were unable to muenster up a sassy comeback? That happened to me twice this week. When the words first hit me it was like someone punched me in the stomach and kept running. I knew that I had a choice, I could listen to what they were saying and accept it --- or respond with the ever so popular response on the playground of "so thats what you think."

But how do we recognize these interactions with other people when they hold up a mirror and the image is less than flattering? Are we to accept everything that comes our way changing and molding until we no longer receive any negative feed back?

This is were we must return to the Tao of the playground -- "so thats what you think." Do we care what this person thinks? Should we care what this person thinks? Or should we simply give them the bird?

In my case this feed back came from two people who I deeply admire. I was at first hurt that they were so blunt and wanted to curl into a little ball and tell them to stop being mean. But then I investigated their comments and realized that they were not said out of spite yet out of a place of observation of inconsistencies between my behavior and my ideas. So thank you, thank you for caring about me enough to tell me the truth even if is not always favorable (but the answer is always "you look great" if i ask you if i look fat).

However my dear readers (aka Ms Love and Madge) if the person in question is a mean cunt then feel free to bust a cap in there bitch ass for dis-in you:O)


PS
OH I used to think I was clever and witty until all my fan mail telling me that cuz I posted lyrics to a song I must be a 16 year old wanna be. So I do promise I shall never ever put lyrics on my blog -- unless I am making fun of them....Paris anyone. Anywho this 16 year old is going to go get his black trench coat out of the dry cleaners so I can listen to the Clash.....maybe I ll put black finger nail polish on today to express my pain......ohhh I just found a chip in my couch so I guess life is not all bad :O)

Jump Little People Jump

Jump little people Jump

Its funny the things we remember as children, the smell of the cafeteria, the bus number that took us back and forth, little things that our teachers said. For me, its the smell of fish sticks, bus number 398 and Mrs.Watts my fifth grade science teacher. She was a small woman about 51 who was very Southern. She would bring us blueberry cobbler just cuz and called call us little people She told the class one day,

If you ever take a road trip don't take the highway, take the back roads and you never know what you will find. I took the back roads and spend the day on a lobster boat. Best damm lobster I ever ate. For some reason that stuck with me. . I liked Mrs Watts, her words have resonated with me till this day. Take the long way and talk with strangers. Seems like the opposite of everything we are told IE hurry up and don't talk to them....even if they have candy. Its amazing what will occur in live with those rules. How many of us would never meet our best friend, or discover that amazing restaurant right out side of town. I cant wait to move from Atlanta and talk to strangers. I wonder how my life will change. Will my political views change. Will I pick up a new hobby? Will I discover another hole in the wall restaurant with amazing mashed potatoes? Who knows. I do know I will be open to what ever comes my way.

this song is played nonstop in my apt

JUMP by Madonna

There's only so much you can learn in one place
The more that I wait, the more time that I waste

I haven't got much time to waste, it's time to make my way
I'm not afraid of what I'll face, but I'm afraid to stay
I'm going down my own road and I can make it alone
I'll work and I'll fight till I find a place of my own

Are you ready to jump?
Get ready to jump
Don't ever look back, oh baby
Yes, I'm ready to jump
Just take my hands
Get ready to jump

We learned our lesson from the start, my sisters and me
The only thing you can depend on is your family
And life's gonna drop you down like the limbs of a tree
It sways and it swings and it bends until it makes you see

Are you ready to jump?
Get ready to jump
Don't ever look back, oh baby
Yes, I'm ready to jump
Just take my hands
Get ready to, are you ready?

There's only so much you can learn in one place
The more that you wait, the more time that you waste
I'll work and I'll fight till I find a place of my own
It sways and it swings and it bends until you make it your own